Inventing Reality: A Guide to Writing Science Fiction
Show vs. tell
Perhaps the most common mistake among novice writers is that tell rather show.
To “tell” what happens is to state it directly, as might occur in a newspaper article. For example:
Lambert was excited to see another boot print.
To “show” what happens, however, is to present the events without being told directly how one feels or reacts. The above example of “telling” could be rewritten to show Lambert’s excitement:
The “show” example is far more dynamic writing. It helps create for the reader a sense of illusion that he is in the story, observing and even participating in the action. This helps generate dynamic tension and causes the reader to invest more in the character.“There’s another one!” Lambert said, pointing at the boot print.
As a fiction writer, you’ll want virtually all of your sentences to show rather than tell. There a few instances when the author needs to “tell” – such as quickly providing a backstory or to make dialogue sound realistic – but such occurrences should be rare.
As writing, look for words such as “was” “were” “is” “be” and “being”. These words usually indicate you’re telling rather than showing. Also, watch for nouns that are emotions, such as “angry”, “sad”, “happy”. Such words usually mean you’re telling rather showing. Rewrite those sentences so that you’re describing the action.
Showing rather than telling can be hard work for writers. Finding just the right words to describe how someone is excited or angry requires more thinking about the scene. But it’s well worth the slowdown and the sweat. You’ll have a much better story – and one that’s much more publishable as well.
You Do It
Rewrite the following sentences so that they show rather than tell (sometimes you’ll need more than a lone sentence to describe the emotion or action):
n Thales was mad.
n The children became scared of Thales.
n Thales was embarrassed.
n Thales felt pain as he walked.
n Anaximander found his teacher amusing.